It’s the vibe of the thing

“[ ]I don’t think I’m quite ready for a relationship. I think we should just vibe and see where that takes us,” are words that have not only affected me but [ ] many individuals within the dating community. It leaves one asking, what exactly is [ ] “vibing” and what is the difference between it and [ ] dating.

Vibing can differ from situation to situation, but the best way to describe it would be a relationship between two people where all the basic rules of dating still apply but with less commitment and pressure. The parties involved simply establish how exclusive they want [ ] to be. In some cases, it could be seen as an open relationship. Now the question is: why are people leaning towards vibing instead of [ ] good old dating?

A statement by Sindiswa Shabalala put everything into perspective, “The person who initiates vibing is taking this stance as a coping mechanism. He or she is not ready for the vulnerability in the relationship and instead chooses to hold onto control over the situation and their feelings”. This shows that a lot of people who enter such relationships do so because of their past failed relationships and the fear of being hurt.

In a time where it seems like all people who enter your life are there with malicious intentions, it is only instinctual for you to attempt to protect yourself. Vibing is the fence-sitter’s answer. It provides desired elements of a relationship, but is free from real vulnerability, leaving less room for disappointment and getting hurt. When there is no real investment, there is no real risk. Hence, out of fear, people choose to be more shallow so that if anything goes wrong, their bounce-back will be easier and faster. There is no denying that upside. The jury is out on this one – take your pick.

Photographer: Thando Khanda

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